Stop Being the Human Raincloud: A Sassy Guide to Not Ruining the Vibe

Let’s get something straight right out of the gate: life is hard, coffee is expensive, and leggings still don’t have enough pockets. I get it. But if every time you walk into a room the mood drops like a questionable burrito at 2 a.m., it might be time for a little self-reflection, honey.

No one’s saying you need to go full-on sunshine and rainbows 24/7 (this isn’t a Disney movie, and you are definitely not a woodland creature - plus it might get you a 72 hour “vacation” while under evaluation). But there is a difference between keeping it real and constantly radiating (and your face is showing) “I just stepped in a pile of dog sh*t and I’m blaming everyone” energy. So let’s talk about how to stop being the emotional equivalent of a wet sock and start spreading good vibes like glitter at a toddler’s birthday party.

1. Check Your Face (Seriously)

Check Your Face - For Real

Your resting “don’t talk to me” - you know it’s the “resting bitch face” - face is doing too much. You don’t have to slap on a fake grin like you’re auditioning for toothpaste commercials, but maybe, just maybe, stop glaring at the world like it owes you an apology. Try neutral. Try approachable. Try not scaring small children at the grocery store.

2. Quit Using Sarcasm as a Personality Substitute

Look, I love sarcasm. I’m fluent. But there’s a difference between witty banter and a nonstop sarcasm spiral that just reads as hostile and dead inside. You don’t need to cut out the sass - just don’t weaponize it. Be sharp, not toxic.

3. Do a Daily Gratitude Reality Check

Before you start doom-scrolling or muttering about what you think others are doing to affect you for just breathing too loud near you, take a pause. Name three things you’re grateful for. Yes, you. Right now. I don’t care if it’s coffee, clean socks, and the fact that your ex still hasn’t figured out how to spell “you’re.” It counts. (Need a Gratitude Journal workbook? Hmm. Wonder where you could get one of those…for FREE.)

10-Day Gratitude Workbook

4. Stop One-Upping Negativity Like It’s a Sport

“Oh, you’re tired? I haven’t slept since 2009”

“Oh, your day sucked? Mine was worse and here’s the TED talk about it.”

Girl. No.

Empathy isn’t a competition. Let people feel things without trying to prove that you’re the reigning champion of misery. You don’t win a prize for being the most exhausted, bitter, or stressed-out. (However, you will probably earn a new “nickname” that you wouldn’t like much and in reality, if this is how you are responding and acting - you earned it.)

5. Get Outside and Touch Some Damn Grass

Fresh air. Sunlight. Moving your body somewhere that isn’t just from the couch to the fridge. Magic. Literal, chemical, attitude-adjusting magic. Bonus: nature doesn’t talk back or ask you to join a group chat. It just silently makes you feel better.

The concept of “grounding” is nothing new and has been practiced for centuries. May want to try it, just a suggestion.

6. Be the Hype Person You Want in Your Corner

You know that one friend who hypes you up like you just invented the cure for chapped lips? Be that person! For yourself. For others (because they are the ones putting up with you). Compliment someone - I promise you won’t burst into flames or have a medical episode if you do. Celebrate something small - and maybe take a step further and celebrate another person and their accomplishment - be selfless instead of self-absorbed and selfish. You’ll be amazed how contagious that energy is - like joy, but make it viral.

7. Cut the Energy Vampires (Or Join Them in Therapy)

If your vibe is being crushed by a toxic group chat, a drama-hungry coworker, or your own inner monologue that sounds suspiciously like your high school nemesis (and you even find yourself going back in time and acting like you’re back in high school), it’s time for boundaries, baby. You don’t need to match their energy - you need to protect your peace like its Beyonce’s last bobby pin.

8. Choose Joy, Even If It’s Petty

Sometimes positivity is choosing to laugh at the mess, wear the sparkly shoes for no reason, or blast your favorite tunes in the school parking lot (my go to is TuPac, Notorious BIG, or Dre & Snoop). It’s not about being delusional - it’s about not giving your bad mood the microphone every dang day. Choose to be a better person, even if it’s just out of spite.

9. Apologize When You’re the Problem (Gasp!)

Look, if you’ve been a whole sour patch of vibes lately, own it. Say, “Yeah, I’ve been a little much. I’m working on it.” That kind of honesty? Chef’s kiss. 💋 People will respect the hell out of you for admitting it instead of pretending your gloom cloud is everyone else’s problem. (Be an adult, in other words.)

10. Remember: No One Likes a Vibe Killer

You don’t need to be the life of the party. But if your default mode is eye rolls and sighs that shake the Earth’s core, you’re not being edgy - you’re being exhausting (and some honesty - maybe being a bitch, if you’re taking it that far). Good energy doesn’t mean perfection. It just means you’re making a conscious effort not to suck the life out of the room and those in it.

Final Sass:

Being a more positive person isn’t about pretending everything’s fine when it’s not - it’s about deciding you’re not going to be the main character in a never-ending drama no one asked to watch. You’re better than that. And the world is a whole lot brighter when you let your light show up instead of your snarky, annoying storm clouds.

So go on, sparkly a little. And if you must be shady, at least be funny about it.